i dunno about you…but i grew up talking about things to solve problems. if somethings on my mind….im gonna talk about it. because no matter how bad it is, its better to get it off of my chest. and if the problem has to do with a friend, yes theyll be upset at the moment…but its better to get rid of the problem right away then to keep it cooped up inside and then blow up!

I definitely agree with these words from Jonathan. I did not grow up talking openly about my problems with friends. But over the years, I’ve realized the importance doing so.

Being open and honest is important if you want to keep your friendships strong and also if you want to have closer friendships.

I look back at my high school days when a good friend told me I was prideful. He showed me that because of my pride, I was neglecting an important friendship. I was irritated and annoyed with him. I even defended why I neglected that friendship.

Was it fun for me to interact with my friend during our disagreements? No, it was painful to know that a friend thinks there’s sin in my life.

What about my friend? Do you think it was enjoyable for him to point out my sin? I don’t think so.

But bringing up our problems and faults allows us to deal with them. If we don’t talk about our problems, we can’t work on them. A hidden problem is an unsolvable problem.

Many times we ignore our problems and hope they’ll go away. But hidden problems don’t go away, they fester and grow like cancer cells. Usually when problems between friends aren’t talked about openly, bitterness will slip in. The friendship will be weakened with each friend not trusting the other. And ultimately, sometimes the friendship is lost and both people won’t talk to each other except for small talk.

It’s sad when two people who used to be friends stop talking. All this happens because one or the other doesn’t want to deal with the problem. That person doesn’t even give the friendship a chance to solve the problem. He/she gives up without even trying.

I’m glad my friend showed me my fault, because I was clearly in the wrong. My friend cared enough to rebuke me. I know “rebuke” is not a popular word in many Christian circles today, but we all need friends who challenge us to become more like our leader, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 4:15 says that as we speak the “truth in love” (even the hard truth), we will grow spiritually and draw closer to Christ.

The issue between my friend and I didn’t go away because I was so stubborn. But a couple months later, I finally realized my fault. (Praise God because He’s patient!) I went back to my friend and apologized. We’re now closer friends because we dealt with that problem. I was able to work through my character defect and become a more mature Christian. And my friend had practice in correcting another Christian.

Here’s some texts to think about:

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23,24)

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

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