I was talking to one of my friends about marriage. She reminded me of Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Evidently God values marriage.
Until this past school year, my plans were to pursue my career (aka get more education, experience, money, etc.) until 30. Then, when I turned 30, I would consider pursuing someone for marriage.
But now I’m think I should stop delaying marriage because God thinks marriage is a good thing.
There are many guys like myself who are waiting for too many ideal circumstances before they pursue marriage.
If marriage is actually a good thing in God’s eyes, why don’t more Christian guys around my age (I’m 27) actively pursue it?
I think there’s many factors involved. One of the biggest factors is culture. We live in a culture that doesn’t value marriage highly. Our culture values self-fulfillment and fun over responsibility. And we all know, there’s a lot of responsibility in marriage.
Ask us guys what our goals are and we’ll start talking about our plans, careers, and education. But is marriage a definite part of our plans? We’ll maybe when we’re 30, if we have enough money, if we’ve completed our goals, if we’ve lived our adventures, etc. We want to enjoy life. We value freedom and fun. But have we valued these things so much that we don’t put the same effort towards our romantic relationships? Are we missing out on one of God’s most awesome gifts because of our lack of effort?
Churches are even realizing that the value of marriage should be emphasized in our anti-marriage culture. You may have heard of Joshua Harris, author of the popular and controversial book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Well, he’s a pastor now. In one of his sermons, I was amazed to hear him urging the single guys to ask girls out. Apparently, the leadership in his church felt the guys needed a nudge in the love department.
One of my Christian friends in Dallas, a 32-year old single guy, says his pastor encourages his single church members to go out on dates. Seems kinda weird, right? But maybe that’s what we need to fight the anti-marriage culture.
What do you think about marriage? Leave a comment or email me at deebarizo at yahoo dot com. Thanks for reading.
8 responses so far ↓
Joanna // Sep 12, 2006 at 6:11 am
Dee,
I don’t necessarily think that delaying marriage until the right circumstances come along is the way to go. I think that waiting until God sends you the right person is the way it should be. Alot of prayer with the person that you are contemplating marriage with, make sure that God blesses the union. Relationships don’t happen overnight. They take time and prayer to build and blossom. I firmly believe that the minute you stop looking for the person you want to date/marry, God will send you the person of your dreams. Not sure if this makes sense or not, but it is my opinion.
Joanna
gabriel t // Sep 12, 2006 at 6:58 am
it makes sense to me. i think what works for some people doesn’t work for others. why put off God’s blessings?
Christa // Sep 12, 2006 at 8:04 am
What I think?? well… God knows and He will provide. Thank you for the article!
Josh // Sep 12, 2006 at 8:23 am
No lie - marriage has to be one of the greatest endeavors of my life! I was going to say accomplishments, but being married is like living - it changes with every second… maybe it would help some singles to think of marriage as an adventure rather than a life sentence.
Alayne // Sep 12, 2006 at 9:26 am
I got married at 20. (It would have been 19 if not for the government and student loans, etc.) I know that I am a whole and complete person in God’s eyes all on my own, but the things that life has put me through since that time, I am soooo thankful that I have someone to share it all with. My husband feels the same way. There is nothing that can substitute for that life companion when you need someone you can trust who loves you. Yes, it is a committment. Yes, it takes effort. But with God at the center, and love between the two people, it’s not the dreaded ball-and-chain that people make it out to be. Marriage is not a prison. It’s true freedom.
mimi // Sep 12, 2006 at 11:33 am
YOu rock Dee! I’m forwarding this article to friends. Thanks for being an agent of change for guys in our anti-marriage culture.
Tamela // Sep 12, 2006 at 4:09 pm
You got it! Hit the nail right on the head on that one. I think we all do that guys and girls when we should just take life by the horns and go for it! Go for it all and make your adventure as a couple instead of alone. After all life is more enjoyable when you have some one to share it with.
James // Oct 11, 2006 at 10:19 pm
I agree with you 100% Marriage is never something to take lightly. It seems our culture takes it VERY lightly. Whether its the ‘try before you buy’ mentality of pre marital sex and living together or the ‘Al Bundy’ idea that marriage is a prison that must be avoided.
Unless God calls you to be single, a God-centered marriage should be on the top of your future goals/prayer list!! It was on mine and God provided BIG TIME! For the most part, men do not take life seriously or responsibly until marriage. We live in a lonely world, 25% of American adults claim that they have absolutely no one to confide in. That is because they believe in the LIE that we should be alone.
Heres a link to that sad statistic:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-06-22-friendship_x.htm
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